My associate Zach and I discussed the phenomenon of e-mail forwards the other day. Where do they come from? Who is the person that first says, “I think I’ll forward this insane thing I’ve created to all my acquaintances?” You rarely see an author taking credit for a popular forward either. It seems like a mostly mom and pop operation, so we thought we could become famous by writing a bunch of forwards and signing them. We would be the Wal-mart of forwards.
Anyways, where I’m going with this, is that the following e-mail forward could be made by an imitator. The reason I say that is because parts of it seem recycled and because the e-mail makes God look kind of like a jerk. Of course neither of those is that rare with these letters, so who’s to say?
P.S. This e-mail horribly abuses the ellipsis and the carriage return.
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I used to use Winamp to listen to music on my computer, but I don’t anymore. The one thing I miss about that program is the feature “stop play after this song.” You could press stop but then the song would finish instead of getting cut off in the middle.
The reason I mention it is because there’s something wrong with me and I don’t like to stop listening to music. For example, I’ll stay in front of my computer or in a room so I can listen to a song that I like, and I find something to do until it’s over. But then the next song starts because I’m distracted, and I keep on doing something until that one is over. And it keeps on happening. I’ve been listening to the new Arcade Fire CD and I’ve been stuck in front of my computer a lot.
Sometimes clients need help transferring files they’re going to use in their presentation. I walked into the room today, and the client goes, “Thank goodness you’re here! The flash drive isn’t showing up!” So I went over to help. I plugged the drive into the computer to see if I could get it to work, and she said, “Oh! That’s where it is! I’m used to it being back here on mine.” I asked her where she had been trying to plug it in. For some reason you can’t plug a USB flash drive into the ethernet jack on your laptop. Wouldn’t the competely different shapes be a tip off?
P.S. I was just walking down the hall and a client pointed at a sign and said, “Excuse me, can you direct me to food & spirits?”
- You are pointing at a sign with arrows to the locations listed.
- You asked for “food & spirits” but actually would just like a vending machine, as you had to explain.
- It’s funny to say, “Direct me to food & spirits.”