I have a desk in the sales office at the hotel. So I get to hear clients’ conversations with the rest of the sales staff. This morning an older gentleman stood in the doorway and said, “What would you say if I only paid half the bill?”

“What?” The one lady said.

“What would you say if I only paid half the bill?”

She said, “I would ask where the remainder was.”

He replied: “Then where’s the rest of my bagels? Don’t serve half bagels. It’s the tackiest damn thing you can do.” Then he walked away.

Update: So the guy came back because he knows the lady in our sales office. Some continued quotations are: “I’m sorry. How are you? It’s just it drives me crazy. It’s the tackiest damn thing you can do. It’s like taking the cake away when it’s not necessary… It’s just that you don’t cut the bagels. Cheap. Cheap and chintzy… I used to do this. You cut the bagels, you don’t cut them through all the way. You don’t separate the bagels because all the bottoms are on the top.”

It’s even funnier because his original problem was with the bagels being cut in half vertically, not horizontally, but then he started talking about that, and I don’t even know what the cake comment was about.