This summer Kelly and I went to a session of pre-marital counseling at her church. We didn’t realize we’d only be going to one, but there were scheduling problems, so it didn’t happen. As it turns out, we weren’t too sad about it. The pastor gave us a video to watch that we’d never heard of, (“You’ll cry,” we were told) and we got a paper to sign and bring back with us:

The Purity Covenant

Get alone together. Sit face to face and hold hands. Begin by having the man read the scripture passages below. Then the man is to read the promise of purity to his fiancee. Next the woman is to read the promise to the man. Finally, pray and both of you should make your commitment to God.

(Then it quotes 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, and Acts 24:16.)

• In obedience to God’s command, I promise to protect your moral purity from this day to our honeymoon.


• Because I respect and honor you, I commit to build up the inner person of your heart rather than violate you.


• I pledge to show my love for you in ways that allow both of us to maintain a clear conscience before God and each other.

(Then there’s two spots for signatures and the date)

You know, I would sign it except I have a problem with the part where I “commit to build up the inner person of (Kelly’s) heart, rather than violate (her).”